Today has been one of reflection . I am missing my parents. my mom died of breast cancer in 2004 and i miss my confidant dearly. My dad died of colon cancer in 99 and I miss his hardy laugh and the way he would look at me over his half glasses when i did something he thought a girl should never do. i realize that no matter how old you get the pain does not go away......

brain pause

There is madness in my head and I often wonder why. I want the world to see me as i am, yet they see me as they want me to be. I am ,but i am not. I look into the abyss and the reflection keeps me captive.